The sizzling sound on the iron pan brought a smile on her face. Her eyes followed the water swirling on the pan as if dancing to the heat’s tune. Amma dipped her ladle to scoop out the batter dropping it on the hot pan.
“Amma, I want my dosa in the shape of a Star “exclaimed Chandrima as her mother spread the batter evenly in a circle. “Chandrima, why do you want your dosa in the shape of star lately? “The mother asked with curiosity. “Because I miss Tara, it makes me feel little better,” she went on, “Amma I want to be an astronaut and fly in the space, meet my Tara, bring her back to our home” said Chandrima proudly like an agent on mission. Chandrima watched on as her Amma wiped the sweat on her forehead, result of the scorching summer and the heat in the kitchen, what did not escape her was how secretly Amma wiped her tears on the pretext of the sweat.
She patted her Amma and hugged her,” I promise Amma I will bring Tara back don’t cry”, Tara was Chandrima’s 4 month old infant sister who had passed way 2 days back due to food poisoning .Chandrima herself was 4 years old. She had been hearing the adults in the house talking about how Tara could not survive the bout of food poisoning through spoilt milk. Chandrima had been told that her baby sister became a real star in the sky . Since then,Chandrima decided that she would grow up to be an astronaut and look out for her little Tara.
Amma rolled the Dosa half from the right half from the left , she scooped the golden brown crispy dosa and laid it on a plate , she removed two bowls one for the Sambar and the other for the chuttni. Chandrima was thrilled as she took the first bite of the dosa and exclaimed, “Amma you make the best dosas in the world, can you make me one more please,” She relished every bite and savored the second dosa as well till she could not finish the last bite. “Amma I am full, I feel very sleepy” Amma picked her up gently and rocked her on her lap and started singing her a lullaby.
“Amma?” called out the little voice,“Yes , Chandrima?” “Amma , when I become Astronaut, will you pack me some dosas when I go to the space? I will share them with Tara as well” “Hmmmm, sleep for now, Tara is waiting”. ” Love you, Amma” and slowly in her arms Chandrika went limp. Amma looked at her face, pale like moon light, she recalled her small giggles when she was born, everyone said she is as pretty as a moon, so they called her Chandrima. Amma, clutched her closer caressing her face.
The door opened, her husband called out” Did you do it?”. ” Chandrima is with Tara “said Amma. Two hands reached out for the little girl ,” I will report it as food poisoning, no one will know”
Amma looked outside the window, the night looked darker, it was moonless just like her life now. She remembered the time when after multiple miscarriages she gave birth to Tara, nobody in the house rejoiced. They howled and cried like in a funeral. She heard several things in whispers “Drown them, make it look like accident, set fire”. She knew since then that sooner or later she will have to bid goodbye to her daughters, never to see them again.
She knew her fate was also not very bright, they wanted her husband to remarry just to ensure the family lineage continues with a male heir from the new bride. Amma’s trail of thoughts was broken with voices outside, she heard some say, “The child is dead, no sign of life”.
Amma stayed a little longer, finishing the last bite of the Dosa.
“Amma , Amma “ a small voice brought Amma back to reality. She looked down and saw Chandrima holding the edge of her saree , looking at her with her wide beautiful eyes, “ Amma , I am hungry , can you give me something to eat?” A sense if relief washed over Amma. Making her resolution stronger , “Sure , I have this chapati roll” ,” Chandrima, we need to do a very important thing, we need to look out for ourselves , I have packed all that we need , let’s go , I will explain later, for now just don’t make any noise,ok?
“ ok Amma.”Amma hugged her moonlight and she was grateful that she took a decision for herself.She picked her little girl and under the moonless sky went on to find a different path, a different life , where she is no more dependant on any male of the society to decide what she needs or not , measure her value only with the ability to bear a male hier.
Lost in the thoughts as they drive out of the town in the bus, Chandrima on her lap , “here have some dosas , you like them don’t you? I packed some.”
Amma you are the best , I love you!
I love you to my Chandrima!Amma hugged her tight and vowed secretly to protect her and raise her in a way that she never has to succumb to the malice’s of the society .
The girl who lives on Apple and Mango 